


Unrequited Love

by Odalis88



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Talk of Valentine and shadowhunter past, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 16:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odalis88/pseuds/Odalis88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set before City of Bones, Jocelyn, Clary, and Luke spend a quiet evening at home. Luke struggles with the intense feelings of love he’s always felt for Jocelyn, and the need to do right by her and her daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unrequited Love

**Author's Note:**

> I rented The Mortal Instruments movie from RedBox, and was instantly inspired to read the book. Now, I’m not yet all the way through City of Bones, but Luke is one of my favorite characters and I felt compelled to write from his perspective and imagine how life used to be for him. This has nothing at all to do with Aidan Turner. Well… maybe a little ;)
> 
> I have read few fics in this fandom, and this has probably already been done, but I enjoyed writing it and adore feedback. My stories are normally full of smut- so writing this way has kind of been a fun challenge. I would love to hear what seasoned readers of the books think of how I played with the characters. Hopefully I didn't distort any super important facts... As I said, I'm not finished with the first book.

She was so graceful in everything she did. Pouring a cup of coffee. Coiling her hair into a messy knot on the base of her neck, painting – especially when she was painting. 

He’d been in love with her since before he could remember. Growing up in Idris they’d been closer than close, but she’d never seen him as anything but a brother. A platonic shoulder to lean on in rocky times, one he’d been all too eager to provide. Even now, decades after she had married and subsequently fled from her husband – his former best friend – she had no idea how he truly felt. 

It was his one great regret in life, not telling her how desperately he loved her _before_ she and Valentine began dating. He’d never know how his life might have been different had she known what was in his heart. If he could go back in time and change one thing, it wouldn’t be that night he’d been betrayed by Valentine and turned into a werewolf. He’d have given her his honesty back when it might have made a difference. 

Luke snuck a glance at her over the top of his newspaper while Jocelyn rolled up her sleeves several inches in preparation for doing the dishes. They had been too long in their routine to change now. He was her best friend, an uncle and father figure to her daughter, the one she called when she needed a peaceful weekend away. The pathetic fool who jumped every time she came asking for help moving a piece of furniture or delivering a huge canvas for one of her masterpieces. 

“Luke. Luke!”

He jumped slightly, coming out of his reverie to look at Clary. “Yes?”

At 15, Clary was the spitting image of Jocelyn when she’d been that age. That, coupled with the fact that he’d practically raised her alongside her mother, made him very protective of her. He couldn’t love her more had she been his own flesh and blood. She smirked at him and her likeness to Jocelyn in that moment made it almost too difficult for him to look at her. Though she’d never outright said it, Clary was well aware of his obvious affection for her mother and seemed highly amused by it. 

“I don’t need you to pick me up after school tomorrow. I’m going with Simon to band practice. Eric is driving us. I’ll catch a cab-ride home after.” Her eyes still laughed at him for being caught staring at Jocelyn. 

“I’m only a phone call away if your plans change. Don’t stay out too late.”

“I know.” Clary’s eyes flickered between him and her mother at the kitchen sink a few times before returning to her not-for-school book. 

Convinced that she was now too immersed in her reading to throw him any more teasing glances, Luke sat down his paper and walked into the kitchen. 

“Need a hand? I’ve two to spare.”

Jocelyn smiled up at him, and then nodded to the drawer that held dish towels. “You can dry. If only my lovely daughter,” she raised her voice slightly, “were to make me such an offer one day.”

Luke twisted to catch Clary’s reaction. She made no verbal acknowledgement that she’d heard her mother’s thinly veiled comment. Rather, she appeared to feign deafness if the too-innocent look on her face and delicate manner in which she turned her page were any indication. 

He grinned at Jocelyn as he took a glass out of her hand to dry. She smiled back and nudged him lightly with her shoulder. They worked in silence for a quarter of an hour, but it was far from comfortable from Luke’s perspective. 

Her distinct lavender scent was driving him insane. Being this close to her, all he could think of was burying his face in the crook of her neck and breathing her in. 

Jocelyn’s hands froze in the water as she caught sight of the change in him. Claws grew and fingers lengthened as he attempted to reign in his desire. She pressed the side of her forearm to his, not soothing him with her hand because she didn’t want to get him wet. She glanced at Clary before leaning into him and asking in less than a whisper, “Are you alright? Is tomorrow the full moon?”

Luke rode herd on his wolf with difficulty and his hands reverted to normal. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Not for another week.” He hated the feeling of losing control. It didn’t happen often.

She continued to look concerned for him, so he gave her his best reassuring smile. He thought he’d managed to improve it substantially since the worst day of his life, her wedding day, when he’d been forced to stand back and watch her union with another man. 

Jocelyn seemed satisfied and Luke found himself sinking into her sparkling green eyes. He didn’t know how long they stood like that, it might have been for twelve seconds or twelve hours, but he actually jumped when Clary spoke from the living room. 

“Isn’t love great?”

“What?!” He whirled around to look at Clary, hoping the edge of panic in his voice didn’t bleed out too obviously. 

“Oh! My – my book,” she said unconvincingly, holding it up for them to see. “It’s so sweet I’m about to get a cavity.”

Jocelyn shot him an odd sideways look before giving Clary her full attention. “Why don’t you go brush your teeth then? And get ready for bed?”

That wiped the mischievous smile off Clary’s face. “No. I’m going out with Simon.”

“No,” Jocelyn countered. “I don’t want you out tonight.”

“It’s only eight! My curfew isn’t until ten. He’ll be over in a few minutes!”

Jocelyn snatched the towel from Luke and used it to dry her hands. Then she turned to Clary with her hands on her hips. 

“Jocie,” Luke cautioned softly. 

She ignored him. “You should have asked me before making plans. It’s not always safe out there for a young girl.”

Clary huffed and turned to him. “Luke!” she appealed, sticking out her lip in a pout that nearly always bent him to her will. 

But he shook his head. “Your mother’s right.” He turned back to the sink and took over washing the plates, listening to them argue until Clary stomped to her room and slammed the door. 

Jocelyn sighed and laid her head briefly on his shoulder as if she were suddenly exhausted. Luke suppressed a small shudder at her nearness. She gave his elbow a gentle squeeze before going to sit down at her breakfast table. Luke dried his hands and followed her. 

“You can’t keep it secret forever,” he said as he sat opposite her. He couldn’t even say ‘shadowhunter’ in her house. “The longer you keep her in the dark, the more danger she’ll be in.”

“When she’s ready,” Jocelyn whispered, not meeting his gaze. She traced a faint scar on her forearm. Angelic runes never really went away. The ones that weren’t permanent faded until only thin, white scars remained. Luke still possessed his, though they weren’t as noticeable on him as they were on Jocelyn’s pale, blemish-less skin.

Leaning forward on his elbows, Luke took her hands into his. They felt so small and delicate in his grasp, but he exactly how deadly and capable they had been before she’d gone into hiding, abandoning life as a shadowhunter to live as a mundane. 

“You’re the one who isn’t ready, Jocie,” he said gently. “I would protect you both with my life, but she needs to be on her guard. You say Valentine isn’t dead, and I believe you. That only makes staying under the radar all the more imperative. Clary can’t do that if she doesn’t know.”

Jocelyn seemed on the verge of tears. “I know. I just wish I could shut out that part of my life forever.”

Unable to stop himself, Luke went around to her side of the small table and wrapped an arm around her, tucking her into his side. She leaned against him. 

“I’ve always taken responsibility for Valentine’s actions. Maybe I could have stopped him before –”

“No,” Luke interrupted her. “You – you were perfect. There wasn’t anything you could have done, no way you could have known his true plans. I was his parabatai, if anyone should be held accountable, it’s me. I did nothing to stop him when it would have made a difference.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Lucian,” she said, using his true name. Nobody called him that anymore. “Valentine is just…”

“Evil,” he finished for her. 

Jocelyn nodded, her arm snaking around his waist. 

Again, Luke felt her drugging lavender scent slam into him. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and disentangled himself from the embrace. 

“I should go home. It’s hardly fair that you should be allowed company when it is denied to Clary.”

Her face broke into a wry smile. “Impartial Luke. Is that what your pack calls you?”

“Not always. Sometimes it’s Exalted One or Glorious and Noble Leader.”

She gifted him with laughter. He drank in the way her entire face lit up, the dimple in her cheek that he longed to kiss, before heading to the door. Jocelyn stopped him just as he would have stepped into the hallway.

“Luke! You know you’re my best friend, right?” She rose and walked over to him, lowering her voice so Clary wouldn’t overhear. “Those years after I went into hiding as a mundane, when you didn’t know where I was… It was the happiest day of my life when you came knocking on my door.”

When he was sure he could keep emotion from overwhelming his words, Luke said in a clipped voice, “Mine too.”

“I just wish I could tell you how grateful I am to have you. You’re my family, all I have left.”

It was the same for him as well. Yes, he had his pack in New York, but Jocelyn and Clary were his family. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but she had already turned him down once after she’d fled Idris, thinking him insincere. He’d long accepted the fact that he was, and would forever be, her friend. 

Luke hugged her briefly, a tight embrace that she returned, before turning and hurrying down the stairwell.


End file.
